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in Money Mindset | Mental Health · October 1, 2020

Embracing Change and Realigning My Goals with What I Truly Want

I’ve had many breakdowns in my life, but there is a particular one that shifted my life into a completely different direction. It was a workday and I had called in “sick” once again. It was the third time that month. I felt like I was losing my mind. I can’t exactly pinpoint what drove me there, but it was a combination of things. I was reaching a peak in my career and accomplishing amazing things in my startup business and real estate investment venture. It was all that I always wanted, but why was I so miserable? Was something wrong with me?

The answer is yes.

I was addicted to overachieving, perfectionism and self-destruction. I got a high from doing more and more. I had successfully pulled it off for years. However, I was not 21 anymore and my body couldn’t handle it all any longer.

I’ve suffered from some sort of depression and low self-esteem since I was young. To cope with this, I became an overachiever and a perfectionist. It became that to validate my self-worth, I needed to achieve the next thing and get to the next level. It always felt like I was one step away from reaching happiness, but the more I accomplished, the less satisfaction it brought to my life.

  • Once I find my dream job, I will be happy.
  • Becoming an entrepreneur is what I need to finally be happy.
  • I’ll be happy once I lose my fear to speak in public.

The list goes on. My happiness depended on whether I accomplished these milestones. So, I HAD to accomplish these things. If I didn’t, then I was a failure and not worth living.

Here is what happened…

I had created a multi-step life plan of all of the things I needed to accomplish to have the life I always wanted, be the person I always wanted to be and live the life I deserved.

I am a naturally shy, quiet and soft-spoken person. That didn’t coincide with my idea of the successful person. Look at Grant Cardone or Gary V, they are not shy, right?!

This was on the top of my list to address.

As I began my venture into entrepreneurship, I started attending workshops and reading books on how to be a successful entrepreneur and leader. “You have to create content, make videos, network more, become a storyteller, learn the psychology of people, etc.”

I became really engaged in Instagram because that’s what every business should be doing to be successful, right?! If you followed me then, you probably remember @moonstonepros. The idea of becoming a leader in my industry by being different was my new thing. I began implementing and doing a lot of the techniques I learned by creating content, videos, and email marketing, etc. My hard work was finally being recognized and I was thrilled. The overachieving addict in me needed to do more and better. Instagram became a full-time job pretty much, but I was finally getting the validation I deserved. Then one day, I found myself hating all of it. It was just so tired and drained from all the work. I felt like I was betraying my true self by doing all of that. While people complimented my work, all I saw was a sad girl trying so hard to fit in by doing what she thought she had to do to be happy.

This is just one of the examples of the many things that drove to my rock-bottom point. I had once again fallen into my own trap of who I needed to be or what I needed to be happy. I was the accountant, the business owner, the real estate investor, the financial coach, and the to-be Instagram influencer. But, who was I really and what did I truly want?

After I let it all out and cried my eyes out that day, I realized that it was finally time to address the core issue. I could no longer ignore the fact that I was sick, and I needed help.

Mental health is a just as important, if not more than physical health. However, we’ve grown to think of it as a taboo subject. It opens us to vulnerability, and it is scary.

Until this day, I still find it difficult to openly discuss that I struggle with mental health. I have hesitated to share this post for days. What would people think? What if they think I am crazy?

I’ll tell you what is crazy:

  • Putting everyone ahead of us and ignoring our needs
  • Not setting up boundaries
  • Saying yes when you want to say no
  • Trying hard to become someone you are not
  • Sticking to something that does not make you happy just to please others
  • Working towards goals that make you miserable and sticking to them because you think that is what you should do
  • Not taking the time to take care of ourselves

I could go on and on about this subject.

To conclude my story, it turns out that I have what they call Bipolar Disorder Type 2 which is a milder version of what we normally think when we hear Bipolar Disorder. This means that I experience hypomanic episodes generally followed by depressive episodes.

Honestly, if I had not started therapy, I would have never thought of it. My hypomanic episodes are just a hyped-up version of my usual self. I have more energy than usual, get really excited, talk more and become super motivated to get things done. I start new projects and come up with great ideas. Probably 70% of my great ideas come from a hypomanic episode like writing a book, starting a blog, a new business, etc. Because they are not so pervasive like the manic episodes of Bipolar Type I, they seem like business as usual. It was only when I started therapy that I noticed the patterns.

Hypomanic episodes are a bit like being caffeinated and when the energy fades away, it’s like a caffeine crash. The “lows” or depressive episodes can be anything from irritability, anxiety, sadness for no given reason, suicidal thoughts, fatigue and just simply lack of interest in anything. It varies from person to person, but that is what I can tell from personal experience.

The concern is not really with the hypomania, but with the depression. The higher you go, the harder the fall and when you fall, you fall. Hence, my 2019 breakdown. The picture below accurately describes the core issue with this disorder.

After a year of therapy and medication, I finally feel like I am in control of my life. Yes, there are still bad days (or weeks) and I am nowhere close to repairing all the damage I have done to myself throughout the years, but I am working on it.

In order to avoid rock bottom, living a balanced life is a must. Hypomanic episodes can be great, but they come at a cost.

The hardest part of my therapy is SLOWING DOWN and enjoying life. I have had to take a few steps back. I was working so hard to accomplish the goals I thought I needed to be happy and accepted by others that ignored the fact that I had everything I needed to be happy right then and there.

Today, I am embracing change and realigning my life with what I truly want. I am focusing on doing less of what I think I should be doing and more of the things that bring me joy. I am no longer proud of the hustle, rather I reward myself when I manage to do nothing. It’s the little things that matter rather than the big accomplishments.

This blog is an example of the things that I enjoy doing because I am being 100% true to myself. Even if this means putting myself in the most vulnerable place ever!

If you are interested, a couple of books that have helped me throughout this new journey and that I highly recommend are:

  • I thought It was Just me, but it isn’t
  • The Four Agreements
  • The Four Agreements Companion Book
  • The Gifts of Imperfection
  • The Art of Self Love

This post may contain affiliate links. I may get commissions for purchases made through links in this blog.

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New Blog Post 🚨 In this week’s blog post I am New Blog Post 🚨 In this week’s blog post I am going over why we bought a short-term rental, our experience so far. Plus what we did prior, during and after purchasing our first short-term rental in March 2022, a Cabin in Blue Ridge, GA.

Check it out at www.beyondjustnumbers.com or link in bio @beyondjustnumbers
I can’t stress this enough. Some investors are l I can’t stress this enough. Some investors are looking to make money from day one, but that’s not always the case. It wasn’t for us and I’ve talked to a lot of rookie investors who have told me “Thank God I have my personal finance situation together.” 

This is just my opinion. Do you agree? Let me know in the comments!

Want to join a free community of like-minded individuals? Join our REI Coffee Chat Community where we talk real estate investing, personal finance and financial freedom, and much more! Link in bio @beyondjustnumbers

Want to learn more about investing in real estate? Read my blog www.beyondjustnumbers.com

#realestateinvesting #realestateinvestor #creativefinancing #investmentproperty #buyrealestate #firemovement #debtfreejourney #financialindependenceretireearly #rentalproperty #investinginproperty #personalfinanceblog #wealthbuilding #planforretirement #investorlife #livefree #airbnb #moneyisfreedom #enjoythejourney #reicommunity #realestateinvestments #shortermrentals #cashflow #realestate
I used to think that investing in real estate was I used to think that investing in real estate was for the rich. I became in love with real estate while working for a real estate investment company that owned hundreds of units. This was back in 2011 and I was 20 years old at the time. I had less than 5 years permanently living the US, so I had no idea about anything. I grew up in Colombia and the only talk of money we ever had was the lack of it. 

The investors I worked for were a wealthy family, so naturally, I thought… Real Estate requires wealth. I don’t have wealth. Therefore, I cannot invest. 

I figured… well shit, I need become wealthy so I can invest in real estate. Eventually, after educating myself I realized how wrong I had it. You can build wealth BY INVESTING in real estate.

Took me a couple of years to figure it all out. Hence, why I didn’t start investing until 2019. I wish I had figured out earlier, but it is what it is. In just 3 years of investing in real estate, I was able to accumulate more wealth than I ever thought possible. 

Just to give you an idea…Did you know you could invest in real estate with as little at 3.5% of the purchase price? For a $150,000, that’s only $5,750. Buy a duplex that needs a little bit of work, fix it up, rent one side and live in the other. This will reduce your monthly expenses significantly, save the money and do it all over again.*

Of course it’s not that simple, but it’s also not that difficult. There are some particular steps and considerations which is  why I recommend doing further reading on the subject. 

Book Recommendation:
✅“The House Hacking Strategy” by Craig Curelop and ✅“Investing in Real Estate with No (and Low) Money Down” by Brandon Turner. 

#realestate #realestateinvesting
🚨 New Blog Post! Continuing the “Getting Star 🚨 New Blog Post! Continuing the “Getting Started in Real Estate Series” 

You’ve found a property either on your own or through a realtor, you’ve run your numbers, you’ve got a lender and now you are ready to make an offer. What’s next?

In this post I want to discuss a few items:

✅Key components of a real estate contract
✅How do you make a compelling offer to ensure you get the property you want
✅The main contract contingencies and how they work
✅Communicating with your realtor

I also provide real examples of what we have done personally. 

Check it out at www.beyondjustnumbers.com

Let me know what you think!
If I listed all of the hats, I’d never end 😂. If I listed all of the hats, I’d never end 😂. Anyone else? Show me the multiple hats you wear and tag me. Let’s have fun with some reels.

Trying to get good at the real game like @investinginyourwealth. How did I do?
The fact that you are not where you want to be doe The fact that you are not where you want to be doesn’t mean you won’t get there. Greatness takes time. Focus on what you control.

And remember, it’s okay to pivot.

#mindset #realestate #firemovement #realestateinvesting #realestateinvestor #rentalpropertyinvestor #rentalproperty #cashflow #motivation #financialfreedom #financialindependence #financialindependenceretireearly
We see a lot of advice around hiring a real estate We see a lot of advice around hiring a real estate friendly CPA. However, when you look up  CPAs that specialize in real estate, they can be pricey.  However, that doesn’t mean that other CPAs or tax professionals aren’t good. They might not be particularly aware of certain items, but they can research and collaborate with theirs peers. Perhaps it may require you to do a little of work to compensate. Things you can do:
✅ listen to The Real Estate CPA podcast or join the Facebook group
✅follow social media accounts of the pricey Real Estate CPA and take notes of what they are saying
✅attend free educational events 
✅read BiggerPocket book on Real Estate taxes 
✅if you know anyone working with a really good Real Estate CPA firm, ask them what they are doing

Then use that to go your CPA or tax professional and be like “Hey, is this something we can do for me?” They’ll probably say, “Let me look into it”. 

If they are good, they are going to research it and/or ask their CPA peer group. (CPAs and tax preparers also have Facebook groups where they collaborate with each other).

Here is a piece of advice, if they tell you “No, we can’t use this loophole or no, you don’t qualify to use this strategy” —> Ask WHY and “How can I qualify in the future?.” This way you confirm they did their homework and aren’t just being lazy. Don’t just take no for an answer. You can then get a second opinion by asking a question in a forum or to your peers.

So don’t panic if you don’t have a real estate CPA or tax professional. 

Next video I’ll be answering the question… “Can I skip the tax professional altogether and do my own taxes?”

#realestate
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